'Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep or just Beep?

According to the Highway Code, your car-horn has just one function; to warn other road-users that you are there. However we all know that, in practice, it is often used as a reprimand to another road-user and it is understood to mean 'where the f**k are you goin. Get out the soddin way'! So often is it used and interpreted in this way that many drivers are inhibited from using the horn appropriately as per the Highway Code. This is potentially dangerous.

It is important to let other road-users know you are there when they may be unsighted or otherwise unaware of your trajectory. If drivers are unwilling to use the horn in these circumstances, a nasty accident may be the result. So, what can be done? Here is my solution.

Always use a short sharp 'beep' rather than a long 'beeeeeep'! I am aware that this is not always easy with some horns. I therefore want to suggest that all cars be fitted with a button on the steering wheel that only enables the driver to sound a short, sharp beep. It could be made more recognizable as an information-signal rather than a reprimand-signal by using a different tone to the one we are used to.

What do you think?

"Don't Split; Will Ya"

I must have been about seven years old and the war had just ended. We had been evacuated to Leeds in 1944 while the Nazis tried to blow Southern England to smithereens with V1 and than V2 rockets. Now it was 1945 and we had returned to London to be rehoused on a sprawling council estate in Hackney, East London. There were several large blocks of flats. We had number 25, Woolpack House. Close by there was a sizable bomb-site that we - my friends and I - called 'the ruins'.

One summer afternoon I was wandering on my own in the ruins when I came across Brian Poor and Barbara Deadman in the long-grass. I was startled. They were older than me; perhaps twelve or thirteen. "Don't split, will ya" said Brian rather imperatively. I had no idea what he meant. For some reason, my best guess was that he was suggesting that I shouldn't fart. Don't ask me why this was my best interpretation but I remember quite distinctly that it was. Perhaps my unconscious mind was centered on my sphincter at that moment. "I won't", I mumbled and wandered on, somewhat relieved.

For the record, I didn't split - until now!

I sometimes wonder what became of Brian and Barbara.